Welcome to Jonneh!

o_o

2007-06-12T22:43:59Z

so I'm at the new awesome library in redding and who do I bump into but Jesus Christ himself. He walks up to me all messiahically and says, "hey. Got a light?" as he hold his cigarette up to eye-level.
I reply, "No, but it's okay because I had resees puffs cereal."
"Resees? candy? For breakfast?"
"No, not candy, Resees Puffs CEREAL! One bite, and my mouth is Screaming--"

And then he hit me! Jesus Butt-Fucking Christ punched me in the face!
"STFU" he said.

I sat there in amazement... Nay, horror... is this really our lord and savior?

And then Jesus said, "That's not MY Lamburgini!"

2007-03-26T03:01:08Z

^_^

hypnagogicwhore @ 2006-11-15T15:32:00

2006-11-15T15:32:05Z

Alright! So last night I stayed at my good buddy Jhai's house!

Like I said in my last post, I ran away from home. I was really really tired of living there. There was too much fighting all the time, no one was ever happy (Which really wears on my emotions for one reason or another) and it didn't even feel like I had parents. I felt no love in that house what-so-ever, and it depressed the hell out of me and I got into drinking and smoking pot. since I've left that house, I haven't drank anything, and I only smoked once.

The night that I left I had the biggest breakdown I have ever had. I just started crying for no reason, and it wouldn't stop so I started yelling and I tried asphyxiating it away, but that only gave me a headache. I got up and screamed and punched this cabinet we have above the dresser until blood was streaming down my arms and all over the cabinet door and I just fell backwards onto the ground and laughed and cried. I don't even know why. I thought that something snapped in my head and that I was going insane, so I figured, "what that hell? Why not just end it? What's the fucking point?" so I went and got one of the giant carpet-cutting razors and was about to cut myself open and stumble into the back back backyard somewhere when I told myself it was a really stupid idea, and that you are very much in love with a girl who is very much in love with you, and you have family that loves you.

Bing! that's when it hit me: This house is the cause of all of this! I need to get the fuck out!

So I packed most of my shit, and headed off for my friend Evelyn's house....

I'll finish this later, I have to head off for school.

No, I\'m not dead. I\'m still very much alive.

2006-11-07T22:34:21Z

That\'s right, for everyone who heard that I had run away... I did!

Yup. I would make this longer and coherent, but I don\'t have the time. I\'ll make a post about this within the next few days. Mmm.

hypnagogicwhore @ 2006-10-25T18:19:00

2006-10-25T18:26:56Z

http://www.encyclopediadramatica.com/images/e/ed/MEGA_WTF!!!!!.jpg (Open this at your own risk...)

ALSO! I was told about this incident (http://www.sun-sentinel.com/news/local/broward/sfl-cstingray19oct19,0,889170.story?coll=sfla-sports-heat&track=mostemailedlink) a while ago, and today I was bored, so it came to mind to see if it was a roumor or if it was true...

So like, I'm pretty sure that Stingrays are planning on taking over the world; one poor, 81-year-old man at a time.

hypnagogicwhore @ 2006-10-24T18:21:00

2006-10-24T18:23:15Z

God... I've been having some serious problems lately. I have been thinking for a while last night if I was actually a homosexual or not. It's been driving me insane lately and I think I seriously need help.. Uggh... FUCK!! I think I love the cock!

---------EDIT-------------

NICHOLAS ALAN JETT IS THE BIGGEST DOUCHE IN THE UNIVERSE!

I apparently left the computer on and forgot to log out. Don't worry, I don't think I love the cock.

I KNOW! LOLOLOLOLOLOLL!!!1

have you ever just wanted to put a pillow over someone's face and just watch them?

2006-10-15T06:51:31Z

Jesus fucking Christ. Ok, I'm really pissed right now. Seriously. My grandmother has been being a complete cunt to me for the past few days. Nothing really big, just making snide comments (i.e. today when I told her that I had a rash on my hand, she said I probably got it from "Fuckin' that girl of yours") and rubbing in my face the fact that I'm grounded at every opportunity she can. All of that has just been building up, and building up... But she fucking.... Ugh!

Ok, Angie wrote me two poems the other day. They were so beautiful, and I loved them. And she fucking ruined them.

She gets in these psychotic-episode modes where she has to fix everything, and cleans shit vigorously, even though it doesn't really need it and completely ignores all of the shit that DOES need to be done. And in this little fit of hers, she decided that it would be a good idea to go through the hastle of getting my sweater OUT of my backpack and just... Uhghhh..... FUCK!

And it was that his balls weren't cleaved from his flesh, and the brave leather-clad young lad lived

2006-10-12T23:56:13Z

Holy shit. I would have expected any reaction other than the one which I recieved. Seriously....

So yesterday was my love's birthday, and I went over to spend it with her, because she wasn't at school and what-not. We watched the worst show I have ever seen. Ever. It was called "Kimba" and from the previews looks like an anime rip-off of The Lion King, but noooo.... I don't even know how to describe it... Ok, it starts out with a cowboy. He shoots shit. Without reason. He shoots little animals to see the explode (They really fucking explode) and a cactus... Which smiles, oddly enough... Then after it shows the cowboy killing shit without reason, it goes to this weird-ass tarzan rip-off who beats the shit out of things for no good reason. Shit happens, and the tarzan guy goes to Africa (which, for some reason, has bulls, tortuses, parrots, and other completely fucking out of the way animals for the geographical location) and encounters Kimba, the white lion. WTF. Anyways, the guy says something along the lines of having to kill it for a new loincloth, and he attacks him with an extendo-daggar. Did I mention that all of the animals can talk? Anyways, this bad, bad, BAD acid-trip goes on for about another 15 minutes....

After we watched this, we watched "We're Back! A Dinosaur Story" which was a lot shorter than I remember. Yeah, then we had cake. OMFG it was good cake. Snickers cake and Mint&Chocolate Chip icecream ^______^ It's my favorite. We ate that, and headed over to Kelli's house to play "Who Wants to be a Millionaire" which was fun, but people lost interest and quit playing or something. Yeah. Then by this time it was 10, and I was so close to calling home to tell them I didn't have a ride home, but I figured that Ken had gone to sleep already, so I didn't. After I juggles the phone around for 13 minutes or so, Kelli finally told me to call or get the fuck off the phone, and her and Angie started quoting stuff from "Wayne's World". I hadn't seen this movie before, so I said, "Really now? I haven't seen that movie before. Seriously" Then they WTF/d me and told me I had to watch it, and I did kinda... I don't remember it at all. I was so tired. I just slept through a lot of it. It was a pretty good movie from what I did catch though ^___^

It was proabably 2? or 1 by now. and I said, "Hey! I'm gonna stay up till 3 and call my grandma and tell her what's up and stuff." So me and Angie danced, and 3 trolled by and I said fuck it and we went to sleep at about 4:45.

Then her mum came and woke us up at 6:00. My grandpa called and wanted me to come home immediately after school.

I knew I was going to get in trouble. It was inevidable, but totally worth it...

Anyways, apparently he was super pissed. Like ultra-super mega pissed. Ken said more pissed than he's ever seen him at me, which is why I was so surprised that he didn't kick me in the throat when I walked in. All he said was,
"So. What happened last night?"
*mumbles*"I dunno I couldn't get... I couldn't get home. A ride home...."
"whelp, you're grounded until further notice. I'd appreciate it if you took out the cat-box."
And that was the end of it. No screaming, no yelling, no spitting, no throat-kicking. Just those three calm sentances. It makes me wonder if he is plotting something later, or if he took it out on the dog.... :\

But yes, I'm really glad I stayed the night with her. <3. One of the main reasons I wanted to was because her ex-boyfriend is really pissed off, and has been saying a bunch of shit about comming down here. If he did, I totally would have Pwned him.

I think I might actually say something about things next time?

2006-10-10T20:27:16Z

Alright. So I haven't made a real update in forever. Just lame posts that summarize my feelings in a few sentances. I don't really know why I keep this journal. Ah well, it's fun to rant sometimes I suppose.

Oh! So I found out that PEOPLE WHO I WON'T MENTION THE NAMES OF FOR THEIR SAKE have been telling a bunch of people that I'm "going down the wrong path" and that I picked up drinking, and smoking pot, and that I might start smoking cigarettes. Yeah....

I have been smoking pot. I know. It's bad. I don't do it that often, and I don't care for it. I do it as a social thing, not just to waste myself. And the drinking thing: Nein. It's the same scenario with the pot. Smoking on the other hand I refuse to do. Ever. I hate cigarettes. HATE. It's inexplicable. There's really no reason for me to dislike them so much, I just do. Probably a psychological thing dealing with my whole family, but w/e.

Yesterday I told my uncle Ted that I have been smoking, and he reacted exactly as I expected him to: "fuh-huuck..." "Johnny!" "You're not 18 yet!" "Ugh." "Dumbass!" "I knew you were." "I think that grandma will actually be kinda happy" "No, I'm not smoking with you. Not today."

Yeah... It was kinda funny. After him and his lover went into the back room and did stuff, Ted took me up to my grandmother's house because I hadn't seen her since her surgery and it was my grandpa's birthday.

Have you ever seen the movie Friday the Thirteenth? My grandmother looks like Jason without his mask on. Her face is all swollen and she has staples across her face where they cut her skull open. *nods* It was really disturbing. And she was out of it on her medication. But I was really glad that I finally got to talk to her.

I think I have ADHD.

And to think, I have all of this extra time and I still don't ever do my essays. I have a 5% in english.

F - AP English
B+ - Economics
B- - Geometry
A+ - Journalism

B+ - Astronomy

See? I'm not a bad kid. I just can't write the essays. I don't know why. I start writting them and then la la la la la EXPLOSION!!!!! I can't write anymore. I try and then this horrible feeling washes over me and I just feel like sleeping. *shrug* It's lame.

hypnagogicwhore @ 2006-10-09T06:09:00

2006-10-09T06:20:06Z

Wow. So I didn't know my grandmother was so close to dying. And the fact that they still treat me like a stupid fucking child. "Oh, it's a common procedure. She'll be fine. They do this all the time! She'll be fine!"
It wasn't a fucking common procedure... Ughh. Why do they do this? She came so close to dying... And losing her vision. She already now has problems with her memory. And the fucking... She has staples in her face where they took off parts of the skull. And I talked to her on the phone and she sounded so weak. She had strokes, and those helped a lot. Just ugh...

I can't sleep! :\

2006-10-08T09:31:28Z

Yeah, I have insomnia. It's annoying as hell. So, I came back into the house from the garage and sat in front of the computer and tried to think of ways to entertain myself. The first thought that came to mind, "Pr0n!" was shot out of the water. I don't feel like porn right now (Strange, no?)
Then I got the sudden, compulsive, inexplicable urge to play Pokemon. So I did. And I named myself Jesus.

After playing for about 10 minutes, I caught something and at the bottom it said, "Jesus used Pokeball!" And it made me laugh, so I screen-captured the picture, and was about to save it and thought, "Hey! This picture has so much potential!"
So I edited it a bit....

And photobucket is being a total cunt, so I can't upload it. Tommorow then, I guess :\

Teh post that totally ripped Ken!

2006-10-06T18:03:56Z

The first five people to respond to this post, will get some form of art, by me, about them. I make no guarantees about quality or type, but I will assure that I will give it good effort and that the art will be individual to you, so if you get a mixed CD or some sort of painting/doodle, yours is the only one like it.

The only catch, of course; as with most memes, if you sign up, you have to put this in your own journal as well

ALSO!!!! The Band formerly known as Sado-Messiah is back in business!

Shirts on sale soon?!?

Our first performance EVER is going to be at Jesska's Halloween party, so be there or you won't be there!

hypnagogicwhore @ 2006-10-05T20:37:00

2006-10-05T20:41:49Z

FUCK!!1

I want to sleep

totally metal.

2006-10-03T04:07:15Z

fire_spirit831: youre so evil
Jonneh: ^ ^
Jonneh: it's awesome
Jonneh: it's a gardeining tool
Jonneh: isn't that picture totally metal though?
fire_spirit831: dude
fire_spirit831: it so fucking is
Jonneh: ^___^
fire_spirit831: XD

This made my day

.... Awesome...

2006-09-27T18:10:53Z

This has to be the best comic I have ever seen in my life...

lolerskates

2006-09-18T18:35:35Z

http://www.roflwaffles.com/

Will it hurt? Will I dream dave...?

2006-09-12T01:42:11Z

Evergreen Terrace is angry as hell. But you should listen to them. They will make your ears orgasm.

- Do Trees have feelings?

Sorry. Last post for a while.

2006-09-07T00:50:53Z

Yesterday? Yes. Ok, so yesterday morning I was awaken by my grandfather's drunken shouting, "Jonneh! Time to get up!" and my routine reply, "Nyuguugmgnnn".... Only that didn't happen this time. This time I sat bolt-upright in bed and said out loud, "What the fuck where am I?"

You see, I don't know how I got home the night before. I took some ambien to go to sleep, and I tried ever so valiantly to do so... But an hour is asking a bit much of my attention-span. I got up, swore out-loud, stumbled out of the garage, and flopped into the house on the floor of the kitchen. After about 2 minutes or so of misconstrued thinking, I jumped up and called Evelyn to come and get me. Now, from this part of the story to about the middle, I have no recolection of what happened...

About an hour from when we left off the story, I was sitting on Chris (Evelyn's boyfriend)'s couch. The next thing I know, I have a plate of chicken in my lap. Wow, drugs make things really happen! No, but then I ate some of it and BAM! I had a sprite! I remember the can, but I can't for the life of me remember what it tasted like. Then BAM! Skip ahead another hour or so and we're all in Chris's room playing Super Mario World. Jesus Christ did I ever suck at that game. Normally it's like a second language to me. But... Ugh! I couldn't even jump over some spikes in one of the easier castles! Right here everything gets foggy again... Then I remember vaguely taking my shoes off... I think I was home by this time, but I'm not sure... Yeah, then I wake up saying, "Where the fuck am I?!"

The whole day of school following that is foggy too. I don't really remember anything. I did all of my work though, which is good. I don't need to get behind in my classes just yet.

Anyways, School ends for me at 12:00, so I walked to New Tech (School near ours which has a bus stop) and Waited for the bus so I could ride it to the college. It turns out that all of the buses in Anderson are retarded and only drop you off at the outlets. Go figure. After I tried my very best to convince the bus driver that his wife and children would hate him if he didn't drive me to the college, I left with a feeling of remorse within the pit of my stomach. My grandfather was my last-ditch way to get to my violin class at the college on time.

So, I stoll casually into the School and ask the receptionist politely, "Excuse me, ma'am? May I use your phone? I hate to call my grand--" "Why the hell do you need to use our phone? Do you go to this school?" "No, but I'm kinda stranded, and I'm going to be late for my college class if I can't use your phone to call my grandfather for a ride." "Yeah, whatever. Dial 9 first."

"Hi grandpa?"

"h'llo?"

"Grandpa, it's me Johnny. I missed the bus, and I need you to drive me to the college."

"*Heavy sigh* God damnit Johnny... Yeah, alright I guess. Don't make this a habbit, we can't afford the gas."

"I know I'm really sorry I'm --"

And then he hung up on me. So I called back.

"Llo?"

"Grandpa? Hi I'm at the New Tech Highschool."

"*Hangs up again*"

"God do I love your alcohol problem!" Then I hang up as well.

He was drunk, as I suspected, and what's worse is that he had a 20 oz. with him. He cracked it open as I loaded myself in. It was hell.

He swereved a lot. He had obviously drank more before he came to get me, and I suspect that other drugs were iunvolved aswell. We ran off the road twice, one of which I grabbed the wheel and swerved us back onto the road (He got really pissed at that... "I can handle it!" No, obviously you can't. Dumbfuck. Otherwise we'd be on the road going in a straight line.). After those fun little incidents, we almost swerved right into an on-comming van. Fun stuff. I was clinging to my backpack for dear life. After I got out of the car, he made some remark about how it was my fault he was drunk or whatever. I think he was trying to convince himself more than me, but eh.

By this time it was about 1:05, and I ran to the cafeteria to see my friends Jesska and Leslie. I told Jesska I would meet her there, since it was my first day. We hung out for a while and departed at about 1:52.

Violin class... Ugh. It was really boring. I sat in there and watched other people play because I left mine at home, and the teacher bitched at me. Funny thing is though, I can't take that class anymore because of the freaking buses. Anyways, I'll fastforward to 5:10 when me and my uncle Ken got picked up by my grandmother.

Yeah, nothing really eventful, we got home at 5:28, and I had to sprint into the house to call Evelyn to not leave without me to our astronomy class. She came and got me, and we went to class. 6-9:00. Ugh. It's fun, but it's way way WAY too long. We went back to her house and me, Chris, and her all hung out and I played The Legend of Zelda: Ocarina of Time. I love that game so much ^-^. Anyways, I got home at about 10:30, called and talked to Leslie until 11:45, then fell into the bliss that was my bed. I had a really weird dream about Leslie because we had been talking about dreams in our hour-long conversation.... It was rather interesting.

something that should be seen by everyone

2006-09-06T23:40:05Z

http://www.omgwtfbbq.com/

I think that I should start a weekly e-mail post....

2006-09-06T17:59:57Z

So I was checking my email today in Journalism class, and as always I get flooded with a bunch of spam. I was bored, so I figured, "What the hell, why not?" and opened the one that sounded the most interesting. It happened to be a letter from an unidentified person named, "Baptist".

Acquisition news to send G CME flying!

Coompany: Greater China Media & Ent
TTicker: GCM E
Current_PPrice: $1.60
Target_PPrice: $5.00
Recent Vollume: 486,216 shares (Insiders Accumulating?)
Marrket Cap: 3.2 M
Shares Outstanding 2.0 M
RRecommendation: SStrong BBuy
Priice Increasee Expec: Max

Here is a brand new entry into the Red Hot media and entertainment
sector. With entertainment industry pricees at record levels
these small compannies are poised to deliver hugge proffits.

With a combination of solid, proven managgement, Extremely
Lucrative businness sector, and incredible news, this sstock
is going to fly on wednesday.

Members should pick up GC ME as early as possible on wednesday.
This news is going to send G CME off the charts! We all
know that in the entertainment buusiness it's the big announcements
that make these sstocks explode.

Add GCM E to radaar on wednesday, september 6, 2006. go GC ME!

Does anyone that's reading this see ANY point whatsoever in sending this to me? What the hell are they advertising?! And what the hell does, "Priice Increasee Expec: Max" Mean!?

There are several more... "Christ@ lma495.siteprotect.com --- My painting at art.com" "alphameric --- Your home c redit" (This one is one of my favorites:) "Bateman --- It is absolutely safety for your health!" (Yeah, inproper english/grammar/context makes me want to buy your drugs) " cigar --- never say no to these things P PTL. PK" (Here's another personal favorite) "Shoshannah Besser --- Re: PHjgARMACY" "coil enter now PP TL.P K"

Mmmmm... Spam always makes me giggle

hypnagogicwhore @ 2006-09-01T07:37:00

2006-09-01T14:37:34Z

I'm fucked. My teacher is going to cut my balls off and feed them to the rest of the class.

lawl.

2006-08-31T18:33:21Z

http://www.zombiejesus.com/

UNDENYABLE!!!

OMFG ZOMBIES!!!!

2006-08-30T19:47:53Z

OK! So me and a few friends are going to be hosting a ZOMBIE WALK!!!!!1 (For those of you [I'm guessing nearly all of you] who don't know what a zombie walk is, go to www.wikipedia.org and search for "zombie walk". They are the best thing ever.)

We're going to be doing it (tentatively) through the Mount Shasta Mall. Just wear your zombie attire/make-up, and contact me via e-mail or phone (530-378-0925.... Ask for Johnny). Hope to see you all there!

-Jonneh Frootz

Oh, and here are some sites to give you tips on your look.

http://www.zombies.tomwalsham.com/costume.html
http://www.wikihow.com/Look-Like-a-Zombie

Another tip: Put spirit gun on on you're face and when it dries, sorta rip it out and put blood on it.

(www.zombiewalk.com)

Devour to survive; or so it's always been

2006-08-28T20:30:52Z

So I'm at school right now! OMG! WTF!? R U SRSLY?!?

Yes, I'm at school. I have had a grand total of 2 minutes of class time today, and that is it for the day. Is it sad that I woke my grandpa up to drive me to school even though I knew I would probably miss all of my classes? I think not. I am seriously getting sick of comming back to that house. I am going to get a studio appartment. I even have Ideas for what it shall look like. I think I might re-create it using some program in the not too distant future... For now a list should suffice.

My house!

-The floor would be a checker board patter or Emerald Green and Black.

-The walls would be Emerald green as well with a black trim. The roof would be black.

-There should definately be book shelves. At least covering one wall... The whole house will be organized and clean. I'm tired of living in filth :\

-My sculptures as well as other Egyptian ones will be in various places about my house.

-Gigantic TV! Kick-ass Speakers! Huge entertainment center! (with lots of videogames. Omg. I am so cool)

-Fire-place. Mmmmm.... With cooshy (Is that even a word?) chairs.... Red ones! Scarlet! yes! Ok.... Uhmm...

-The furnature would match the floor and be green and black checkered. Mmmm....

-It will most likely be a studio appartment as they are cheap, and require little maintanence. I don't want a big house. If there's too much space, I feel alienated; on the flip side, if it's too cramped, I feel like I'm suffocating. I'll just have to play it by ear? I dunno.

I really want to have a house of my own. It's been invading my dreams a lot lately...

OH!!!!

If anyone wants me to make them a gif, just tell me about what, and if you want, send pictures to my email ( onijesus@yahoo.com ) (sorry, I don't know how to make links, otherwise I would.) And once I finish, I'll post them! My default icon is a bastardized version of my better one I had to shrink and rape, so don't judge my skills based on it... The Serj one, however I am quite fond of. ^____^

Gah! Phobias suck!

2006-08-22T03:04:49Z

Today I found out that I have a phobia of father-figures. Believe it or not, I'm still all shaky.

So today was pretty cool, I went to school for the first time in forever, and it was a huge relief. Seriously, it's like the days have meaning now. In first Period I have AP English with Mrs. Fitzpatrick, she's pretty cool, but the class is probably going to be pretty hard, but I'll manage; It is of course an AP class, so I can't really complain. Second period I have Economics with Mr. Carter. He's pretty cool, and I'm pretty sure him and another teacher (can't remember her name) are having an affair. He's probably the funniest teacher I've ever had. Third Period I have Chior with my least favorite teacher ever: Mrs. Dutton. This woman is death-encarnate. Srsly. She is a total cunt and should die.....
Fourth Period is Art with Mrs. Bryant. She's really cool and layed back. I'm pretty sure she's a stoner. Fifth Period is "Not Assigned" and I have to sit in inhouse for a whole hour and stare at a wall. It sucks ass, but I will be fixing that along with some other classes soon. Finally, sixth period is my Algebra II class with Mr. Clawson. He's also pretty cool. He actually helps his students unlike my other math teachers I've had.

Anyways, today after school Jamie, Angie, and I all walked over to some dude named Matt's house. I don't like matt. He's a douche, annoying, retarded, and a geek. Not the cool kind. The kind that think they know everything and their life revolves around something like Star Trek or something else like that. Jamie went home, and we went into his house and watched stupid crap on the computer that me and Angie really didn't want to see, but he wanted us to... They included Fuck-a-mon, some retarded porn with girls on skateboards (Yes, I'm being completely serious) and he was going to show us something called, "Tubgirl" But I have heard of this before, and told him that if he was going to play that, I was going to vommit all over him. Anyways, after all of that, me and Angie took over the computer and fucked with this one girl from Kansas that he was talking to then left him there to go to Jamie's house.
There, we listened to a bunch of music, ate pancakes and cuccumber, and looked at my drawings. When Jamie turned on this one song called "Electoboi" by the Gay Pimp Daddy, they started dancing and somewhere about the middle I said something to the effect of, "Wow. I wish I had a camera" and when I was in the middle I heard Jamie's dad yell for her to turn it down, and at that point my heart stopped. Seriously... I felt as if I have never been so scared in my life. Me and Angie hid in the back of the room and were told not to talk. After a few minutes she came back in and told us about how her dad got a bitchin' Commero (Spelled wrong, and is a reference to a Dead Milkmen song) and how he is washing it so it would be a good opportunity to go. So we did very stealthily and walked back to matt's house where Angie's mom picked us up and dropped me off at home.

Sorry about that long and boring whatever you want to call it... I just really don't have the energy to make it interesting right now.